WORDS OF WISDOM FROM A GREAT MANY YEARS AGO
Posted by ~Ray @ 2007-11-27 22:33:50
For the fifty years of life for keepers we spent every single moment twisting and turning ourselves to be what others said we should be. We have always been so desperate to conclude loved and accepted that we were willing to furnish up our authentic selves to sight that comprehend of emotional security that keepers have always yearned to have. In fact keepers had come to accept that we were populate who had no concept of goodness or truth because so much of who we were was based on the beliefs of others. Keepers had come to accept that we were idiots because that was the reflect visualise others reflected back to us.
For the entire half a century that keepers parents were on this hide everyone in our system sought to be what we were taught we should be. So much so was this that keepers failed to see that we were perpetuating our desperation to gratify our parents change surface after they were gone. By that. I convey that not even our domiciliate was truly ours. You see keepers father was a successful interior designer who was obsessed with the color green. Each of the seven rooms in our home has always been color. Not because keepers desire color at all but because that was what our father had mandated for our home. And for a great many years the clothes keepers wore and the furniture in our domiciliate and the attitudes keepers presented to the world all came from our parents and not from keepers. change surface the faith that keepers chose to raise our external children to follow was the choice of our parents. The schools our children attended were mandated as well by our family of origin. That is how important it was to keepers to feel accepted–if not loved–by the people who brought us into this world.
Then keepers carried on our need to be what other populate said we should be during our years as mothers. We tried very hard to shape and mold ourselves into what the nuns at our children’s school would see as proper and dignified. We rearranged our beliefs and our call of dressing and even the words we used so the we could fit into the click of mothers at their educate as come up. And when one of our external children said keepers should be this or that we would stress ourselves completely out trying to transform our system into what our external children thought their mom should be. But worst of all keepers tried time and measure again to alter ourselves into the care our former therapist (the one who has been convicted on five counts in our inspect) said we should be. We thought that since he had the degree on his wall he knew far better than keepers did. Unfortunately it would be way too late when keepers learned the truth of that situation.
In essence keepers spent the first fifty years of our lives bending over backwards or standing on our heads or just whittling our authentic selves away in order to be what others said we should be. Unfortunately keepers parents had a different view of what we should be than did the Catholic Church. The Church’s view was very different than what our external children thought we should be and their view was very different from what our former therapist thought we should be so keepers spent half a century getting nowhere and feeling perfectly awful because we were trying to please everyone and be what each wanted us to be. Only now do keepers understand what an impossible situation this had become for us.
For all of those years keepers lived our lives believing that it was exceed for us to be in relationships that made us miserable than to undergo no relationships at all. Keepers lived a life of indebtedness. (gratify say that I said indebtedness and not gratitude. There is a huge difference between the two). We lived a life where we kept horrendous secrets because others would not love us if we told. In fact for the whole of that half a century keepers were constantly slumped over with our heads hung in shame because everyone criticized everything about us. To be honest what keepers had was a life not worth living.
The paradox in keepers lives is that we grew up hearing this quote by William Shakespeare every single day of our lives. Our father spoke these words to everyone he could at every opportunity that presented itself. In fact at our create’s funeral populate stood around commenting on how this man definitely did it his way. Unfortunately his way was starting every day with a cover mary and drinking until he passed out in his head late at night. His way was molesting his daughters and sodomizing his sons. For many years keepers hated this quote from William Shakespeare because of the man who drove it into our minds.
Several years ago keepers began doing our yoga practice as a move of our daily lives. We started our yoga from the standpoint that it would be a physical workout for us but nothing more. However the more we worked with yoga and the more we learned about doing yoga the more we understood that the practice is truly a spiritual jaunt as well as a physical workout. For keepers as our posture straightened and our breathing became normal we found that everyone in our system was becoming more and more in comprehend with our authentic selves. As this happened for us the above ingeminate from William Shakespeare took on a whole new meaning for us and keepers began to understand that keepers could only be adjust to others by first being adjust to ourselves.
Before I go any further. I need to inform out that keepers waited until the empty nest syndrome had overtaken our lives before we set out in search of our authentic selves. In many ways keepers think this was a mistake because our external children never got the chance to experience who their mother truly was in arouse of her multiplicity. But in many ways keepers evaluate waiting until our external children were grown and gone was the only thing we could do because as a family home this house had to designate the likes and dislikes of many. Only now that it is just JM and keepers do we feel free to be adjust to our own selves in a way we undergo never even dreamed of before.
For keepers being adjust to ourselves could not happen until our environment reflected our authentic selves. This has happened for us over a period of several years. First came our need for this body to be an easy displace for all alters to be. That happened as our posture straightened and our breathing became healthy. Not only did we free ourselves from unnecessary hurt but we opened a door to keepers enjoying life in a way we never thought possible before. Then came keepers finding a hairstyle that suited all of us and learning to dress in ways that made each of us conclude both presentable and comfortable. Our system has always had a tremendous desire to be feminine since this was denied us in our childhood so keepers do wear dresses and skirts much of the time. After that came changing from being a family home to being a displace that suits the tastes and lifestyle of JM and keepers. This has been a desire slow process but the painting we are doing now is obliterating the green from our lives. (Our kitchen ordain comfort be green but a very different green than our father would undergo chosen) and casting out the furniture that was chosen by others. Slowly but surely is becoming authentically and that makes keepers very happy.
Over the measure several years keepers have faced three separate situations where we had to alter a choice between doing the popular thing by keeping quiet on certain situations or following our own beliefs and speaking out in an effort.[ADVERTHERE]Related article:
http://keeperskorner.wordpress.com/2007/11/12/words-of-wisdom-from-a-great-many-years-ago/
0 Comments:
No comments have been posted yet!
|
